Signs


SIGNS

  • Over a Gynecologist’s Office: “Dr. Jones, at your cervix.”
  • In a Podiatrist’s Office: “Time wounds all heels.”
  • On a Septic Tank Truck in Oregon : “Yesterday’s Meals on Wheels.”
  • On another Septic Tank Truck: “We’re #1 in the #2 business.”
  • On a Proctologist’s door: “To expedite your visit, please back in.”
  • On a Plumber’s Truck: “We repair what your husband fixed.”
  • On another Plumber’s Truck: “Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.”
  • On a Church’s Billboard: “7 days without God makes one weak.”
  • At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee : “Invite us to your next blowout.”
  • On a Plastic Surgeon’s Door: “Hello. Can we pick your nose?”
  • At a Towing Company: “We don’t charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.”
  • On an Electrician’s Truck: “Let us remove your shorts.”
  • In a Non-smoking Area: “If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.”
  • On a Maternity Room Door: “Push, Push, Push.”
  • At an Optometrist’s Office: “If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.”
  • On a Taxidermist’s Window: “We really know our stuff.”
  • On a Fence: “Salesmen Welcome! Dog food is expensive.”
  • At a Car Dealership: “The best way to get back on your fee – miss a car payment.”
  • Outside a Muffler Shop: “No appointment necessary, We hear you coming.”
  • In a Veterinarian’s Waiting Room: “Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”
  • At the Electric Company: “We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don’t, you will be.”
  • In a Restaurant window: “Don’t stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up.”
  • In the front yard of a Funeral Home: “Drive carefully. We’ll wait.”
  • At a Propane Filling Station: “Thank heaven for little grills.”
  • Chicago Radiator Shop: “Best place in town to take a leak.”
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