Watch What You Say

Watch What You Say

Husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the wife looks over at him and asks the question.

  • Wife: “What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?”
  • Husband: “Definitely not!”
  • Wife: “Why not? Don’t you like being married?”
  • Husband: “Of course I do.”
  • Wife: “Then why wouldn’t you remarry?”
  • Husband: “Okay, okay, I’d get married again.”
  • Wife: “You would?” (with a hurt look)
  • Husband: (makes audible groan)
  • Wife: “Would you sleep with her in our bed?”
  • Husband: “Where else would we sleep?”
  • Wife: “Would you let her drive my car?”
  • Husband: “That would seem like the proper thing to do.”
  • Wife: “Would you give her my jewelry?”
  • Husband: “No, I’m sure she’d want her own.”
  • Wife: “Would you take her golfing with you?”
  • Husband: “Yes, those are always good times.”
  • Wife: “Would she use my clubs?”
  • Husband: “No, she’s left-handed.”
  • Wife: –silence–
  • Husband: “shit.”

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