Archive for January, 2008

15 Things You Probably Never Knew or Thought About

15 Things You Probably
Never Knew or Thought About

1. At least 5 people in this world love you so much they would die for you.

2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.

3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.

4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don’t like you.

5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.

6. You mean the world to someone.

7. If not for you, someone may not be living.

8. You are special and unique.

9. Someone that you don’t even know exists loves you.

10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.

11. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely turned your back on the world.

12. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won’t get it, but if you believe in yourself, probably, sooner or later, you will get it.

13. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.

14. Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know.

15. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great.

A Minute

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them.

Take the time… to live and love.

Goosebumps Poem

A Poem That Gives You Goosebumps…

A drunk man in an Oldsmobile

They said had run the light

That caused the six-car pileup

On 109 that night.

When broken bodies lay about

“And blood was everywhere,”

“The sirens screamed out eulogies,”

For death was in the air.

“A mother, trapped inside her car,”

Was heard above the noise;

Her plaintive plea near split the air:

“Oh, God, please spare my boys!”

She fought to loose her pinned hands;

“She struggled to get free,”

But mangled metal held her fast

In grim captivity.

Her frightened eyes then focused

“On where the back seat once had been,”

But all she saw was broken glass and

Two children’s seats crushed in.

Her twins were nowhere to be seen;

“She did not hear them cry, ”

“And then she prayed they’d been thrown free, ”

“Oh, God, don’t let them die! ”

Then firemen came and cut her loose, ”

“But when they searched the back, ”

“They found therein no little boys, ”

But the seat belts were intact.

They thought the woman had gone mad

“And was traveling alone, ”

“But when they turned to question her, ”

They discovered she was gone.

Policemen saw her running wild

And screaming above the noise

“In beseeching supplication, ”

Please help me find my boys!

They’re four years old and wear blue shirts;

“Their jeans are blue to match.””

“One cop spoke up, “”They’re in my car,”

And they don’t have a scratch.

They said their daddy put them there

“And gave them each a cone, ”

Then told them both to wait for Mom

To come and take them home.

“I’ve searched the area high and low, ”

But I can’t find their dad.

“He must have fled the scene, ”

“I guess, and that is very bad.”

“The mother hugged the twins and said, ”

“While wiping at a tear, ”

“He could not flee the scene, you see, ”

“For he’s been dead a year.”

“The cop just looked confused and asked, ”

“Now, how can that be true? ”

“The boys said, “”Mommy, Daddy came ”

“And left a kiss for you.”” ”

He told us not to worry

“And that you would be all right, ”

And then he put us in this car with

“The pretty, flashing light. ”

“We wanted him to stay with us, ”

“Because we miss him so, ”

“But Mommy, he just hugged us tight ”

And said he had to go.

He said someday we’d understand

“And told us not to fuss, ”

“And he said to tell you, Mommy, ”

“He’s watching over us.”

The mother knew without a doubt

“That what they spoke was true,”

“For she recalled their dad’s last words, ” ” I will watch over you.”

The firemen’s notes could not explain

“The twisted, mangled car, ”

And how the three of them escaped

Without a single scar.

“But on the cop’s report was scribed, ”

“In print so very fine, ”

An angel walked the beat tonight on Highway 109.

“The 7 Second Prayer, Just repeat this phrase and see how God moves.

“Lord, I love you and I need you, come into my heart, and bless my

family, my home, my friends, and me. Amen. ”

–He who has a thousand friends has not a friend to spare.

This morning when the Lord opened a window to Heaven, He saw me, and

He asked: “My child, what is your greatest wish for today?” I responded:

“Lord please, take care of the person who is reading this message, their family and their special friends.

They deserve it and I love them very much.

” The love of God is like the ocean, you can see its beginning, but not its end.

Pecans in the Cemetery

PECANS IN THE CEMETERY

On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.

“One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me,” said one boy. Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.

Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, “One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me.”

He just knew what it was. He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along.

“Come here quick,” said the boy, “you won’t believe what I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls.”

The man said, “Beat it kid, can’t you see it’s hard for me to walk.” When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery.

Standing by the fence they heard, “One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me.”

The old man whispered, “Boy, you’ve been tellin’ me the truth. Let’s see if we can see the Lord.”

Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.

At last they heard, “One for you, one for me. That’s all. Now let’s go get those nuts by the fence and we’ll be done.”

They say the old man made it back to town a full 5 minutes ahead of the kid on the bike.

1960 Angels in Indiana

1960……………A Must Read

In September 1960, I woke up one morning with six hungry babies and just 75 cents in my pocket. Their father was gone. The boys ranged from three months to seven years; their sister was two. Their Dad had never been much more than a presence they feared.

Whenever they heard his tires crunch on the gravel driveway they would scramble to hide under their beds.

He did manage to leave $15 a week to buy groceries.  Now that he had decided to leave, there would be no more beatings, but no food either.

If there was a welfare system in effect in southern Indiana at that time, I certainly knew nothing about it. I scrubbed the kids until they looked brand new and then put on my best homemade dress, loaded them into the rusty old 51 Chevy and drove off to find a job.

The seven of us went to every factory, store and restaurant in our small town. No luck.

The kids stayed crammed into the car and tried to be quiet while I tried to convince whomever would listen that I was willing to learn or do anything. I had to have a job.

Still no luck. The last place we went to, just a few miles out of town, was an old Root Beer Barrel drive-in that had been converted to a truck stop . It was called the Big Wheel.

An old lady named Granny owned the place and she peeked out of the window from time to time at all those kids. She needed someone on the graveyard shift, 11 at night until seven in the morning. She paid 65 cents an hour, and I could start that night.

I raced home and called the teenager down the street that baby-sat for people. I bargained with her to come and sleep on my sofa for a dollar a night. She could arrive with her pajamas on and the kids would already be asleep. This seemed like a good arrangement to her, so we made a deal.

That night when the little ones and I knelt to say our prayers, we all thanked God for finding Mommy a job. And so I started at the Big Wheel.
When I got home in the mornings I woke the baby-sitter up and sent her home with one dollar of my tip money–fully half of what I averaged every night. As the weeks went by, heating bills added a strain to my meager wage.

The tires on the old Chevy had the consistency of penny balloons and began to leak. I had to fill them with air on the way to work and again every morning before I could go home.

One bleak fall morning, I dragged myself to the car to go home and found four tires in the back seat. New tires! There was no note, no nothing, just those beautiful brand new tires. Had angels taken up residence in Indiana ? I wondered.

I made a deal with the local service station. In exchange for his mounting the new tires, I would clean up his office. I remember it took me a lot longer to scrub his floor than it did for him to do the tires.

I was now working s ix nights instead of five and it still wasn’t enough. Christmas was coming and I knew there would be no money for toys for the kids.

I found a can of red paint and started repairing and painting some old; toys. Then hid them in the basement so there would be something for Santa to deliver on Christmas morning. Clothes were a worry too. I was sewing patches on top of patches on the boys pants and soon they would be too far gone to repair.

On Christmas Eve the usual customers were drinking coffee in the Big Wheel. These were the truckers, Les, Frank, and Jim, and a state trooper named Joe.

A few musicians were hanging around after a gig at the Legion and were dropping nickels in the pinball machine. The regulars all just sat around and talked through the wee hours of the morning and then left to get home before the sun came up.

When it was time for me to go home at seven o’clock on Christmas morning, to my amazement, my old battered Chevy was filled full to the top with boxes of all shapes and sizes. I quickly opened the driver’s side door, crawled inside and kneeled in the front facing the back seat.

Reaching back, I pulled off the lid of the top box. Inside was whole case of little blue jeans, sizes 2-10! I looked inside another box: It was full of shirts to go with the jeans. Then I peeked inside some of the other boxes. There was candy and nuts and bananas and bags of groceries.

There was an enormous ham for baking, and canned vegetables and potatoes. There was pudding and Jell-O and cookies, pie filling and flour. There was hole bag of laundry supplies and cleaning items.

And there were five toy trucks and one beautiful little doll.

As I drove back through empty streets as the sun slowly rose on the most amazing Christmas Day of my life, I was sobbing with gratitude.
And I will never forget the joy on the faces of my little ones that precious morning.

Yes, there were angels in Indiana that long-ago December. And they all hung out at the Big Wheel truck stop….
THE POWER OF PRAYER.

I believe that God only gives three answers to prayer:

1. “Yes!”
2. “Not yet.”
3. “I have something better in mind.”

God still sits on the throne, the devil is a liar. You maybe going through a tough time right now but God is getting ready to bless you in a way that you cannot imagine.

Suddenly a Sound

Suddenly a Sound

 

You are in your car driving home.

Thoughts wander to the game you want to see or meal you want to eat, when suddenly a sound unlike any you’ve ever heard fills the air. The sound is high above you.
 
A trumpet?
A choir?
A choir of trumpets?
You don’t know, but you want to know.
 
So you pull over, get out of your car, and look up. As you do, you see you aren’t the only curious one. The roadside has become a parking lot.
 
Car doors are open, and people are staring at the sky. Shoppers are racing out of the grocery store. The Little
 
League baseball game across the street has come to a halt. Players and parents are searching the clouds. And what they see, and what you see, has never before been seen.
 
As if the sky were a curtain, the drapes of the atmosphere part. A brilliant light spills onto the earth. There are no shadows. None. From whence came the light begins to tumble a river of color spiking crystals of every hue ever seen and a million more never seen. Riding on the flow is an endless fleet of angels. They pass through the curtains one myriad at a time, until they occupy every square inch of the sky.
 
North.
South.
East.
West.
 
Thousands of silvery wings rise and fall in unison, and over the sound of the trumpets, you can hear the cherubim and seraphim chanting, Holy, holy, holy.
 
The final flank of angels is followed by twenty-four silver-bearded elders and a multitude of souls who join the angels in worship.
 
Presently the movement stops and the trumpets are silent, leaving only the triumphant triplet: Holy, holy, holy. Between each word is a pause. With each word, a profound reverence. You hear your voice join in the chorus. You don’t know why you say the words, but you know you u must.
 
Suddenly, the heavens are quiet. All is quiet. The angels turn, you turn, the entire world turns and there He is. Jesus.
 
Through waves of light you see the silhouetted figure of Christ the King.
 
He is atop a great stallion, and the stallion is atop a billowing cloud. He opens his mouth, and you are surrounded by his declaration:
 
I am the Alpha and the Omega.

The angels bow their heads.
 
The elders remove their crowns.
 
And before you is a Figure so consuming that you know, instantly you know:

 Nothing else matters.
 
Forget stock markets and school reports.  Sales meetings and football games.
 
Nothing is newsworthy..
 
All that mattered, matters no more….for Christ has come.
 

This morning when the Lord opened a window to Heaven, he saw me, and he asked:
 
My child, what is your greatest wish for today ?
 
 I responded: “Lord please; take care of the person who is reading this message, their family and their special
 
friends.  They deserve it and I love them very much”.
 
The love of God is like the ocean, you can see its beginnings but Not its end.
 
ANGELS EXIST, but sometimes, since they don’t all have wings we call them  FRIENDS, SUCH AS YOU.
  
God Bless & Prayers

Urgent – poprocks

URGENT!
This is very serious please share this info with anyone that has school Age children or grandchildren!!!!!

TO ALL IT MAY CONCERN,

There is a very scary thing going on in the schools right now that all need to be aware of. There is a type of crystal meth going around that looks like strawberry poprocks. It smells like strawberry also and it is being handed out to kids in school yards in AR. I’m sure it will make its way around the country if it hasn’t already. Kids are ingesting this thinking that it is candy and being rushed off to the E.R. In dire condition. Please instruct your children to not accept candy that looks
like this even from a friend and to take any that they may have to a teacher, principal, etc. Please pass this around it could save some family a lot of heartache!

Use More!

USE MORE !

Woman was unhappy with the way her laundry was done at the local Chinese Laundry, so she wrote a note and put it in the bag with the next collection of soiled clothes : “USE MORE SOAP ON PANTIES!”

She got the clean laundry back, and was still dissatisfied with the results, so the following week she enclosed another note: “USE MORE SOAP ON PANTIES!”

The Chinese laundryman became very annoyed, and when her clean laundry was delivered, it contained a note from HIM:   “I USE PLENTY SOAP ON PANTIES!!! USE MORE PAPER ON ASS!!”

Husband to Wife – Rich and Free

FROM HUSBAND TO WIFE

 

Dear Wife:

I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good…!!!

I’ve been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.

Last week, you came home and didn’t even notice that I had gotten a new hair cut, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore, you don’t want sex anymore or anything.  Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore, whatever the case is, I’m gone.

Your EX-Husband

P.S. Don’t try to find me.

Your SISTER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great

life!

* * * * > > > > * * * * * > * * > * * * * * * > > > >

Dear Ex-Husband:

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn’t work.

I did notice when you got a hair cut last week, the first thing that came to mind was “You look just like a girl!” but my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say anything nice. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I turned away from you when you had those new silk boxers on because the price tag was still on them. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning … and your silk boxers were $49.99…

After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica . But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted.  My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.

Signed:

Rich As Hell and Freeeeeeeeeeee!

P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this but Carla, my sister was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem! 

Can You Read This?

Can you read this?

Only great Minds Can Read This

This is weird, but interesting!

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too

Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno’t mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses! and yo u can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs, forwrad it.

Share This Only If You Can Read It

Interesting Facts

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)  


If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that’s more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)

A pig’s orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)
(I’m still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour
(Don’t try this at home, maybe at work)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male’s head off.
(Honey, I’m home. What the…?!)

 
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It’s like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes… Lucky pig! Can you imagine?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.

(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life…quality over quantity)


Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)


Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.

(If you’re ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(Okay, so that would be a good thing)


A cat’s urine glows under a black light.

(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.

( I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains
(I know some people like that too.)


Polar bears are left-handed.

(If they switch, they’ll live a lot longer)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.

(What about that pig??)



Now that you’ve smiled at least once, it’s your turn to spread these crazy facts and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to, maybe even a chuckle.

In other words, send it to everyone !    (and God love that pig!)

I Gave Up Beans

One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love.

When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.

Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work.

Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that I would be late because I had to walk home.

On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odor of baked beans was more than I could stand.

With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans.

All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.

Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly: “Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight.”

He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table.

I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang.

He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call.

The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go.

It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill.

I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously.

Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage

Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes.

The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.

My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long.

He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not.

At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: “Happy Birthday!”

I fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Smart A** Answers

SMART ASS ANSWER #6

It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline.
“Would you like dinner?” the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.
“What are my choices?” John asked. “Yes or no,” she replied. 

SMART ASS ANSWER #5

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.  Without missing a beat, she
said, “Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub.” 

SMART ASS ANSWER #4

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?” The stock boy replied, “No ma’am, they’re dead.”

SMART ASS ANSWER #3

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. “I’ve been waiting for you all day,” the cop said. The kid replied, “Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.” When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

SMART ASS ANSWER #2

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, “Low Bridge Ahead.”  Before he
knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally a police car comes up.  The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, “Got stuck, huh?” The truck driver says, “No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.”

SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR
2006
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow’s final exam. “Now class, I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that’s it, no other excuses whatsoever!”
A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, “What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?” The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says, “Well, I guess you’d have to write the exam with your other hand.”

Those Born 1920-1979

Those Born 1920-1979

To All The Kids Who Survived the 1930’s, 40’s, 50’s, 60’s and 70’s!!

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.  They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn’t get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints.  We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors, or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.

As infants &children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags. Riding in the back of a pickup on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this. We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank Kool-aid made with sugar, but we weren’t overweight because, WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING! We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes! After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem. We did not have Playstations, Nintendo’s, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD’s, no surround-sound or CD’s, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or chat rooms……. WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever. We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not poke out very many eyes. We rode bikes or walked to a friend’s house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them! Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn’t had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever! The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all!

If You are one them, CONGRATULATIONS!

You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good . While you are at it, share it with your kids so they will know how brave (and lucky) their parents were.

Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn’t it?!

Cancel Your Credit Card Before You Die

Thought you’d enjoy a laugh. Makes you wonder where people’s brains are sometimes.

 

A lady died this past January and Citibank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and added late fees and interest on the monthly charge.  The balance had been $0.00 when she died, but now somewhere around $60.00.  A family member placed a call to Citibank.

 

Here is the exchange:

 

Family Member: “I am calling to tell you she died back in January.”

Citibank: “The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.”

Family Member: “Maybe, you should turn it over to collections.”

Citibank: “Since it is two months past due, it already has been.”

Family Member: “So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?”

Citibank: “Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!”

Family Member: “Do you think God will be mad at her?”

Citibank: “Excuse me?”

Family Member: “Did you just get what I was telling you – the part about her being dead?”

Citibank: “Sir, you’ll have to speak to my supervisor.”

Supervisor get on the phone:

Family Member: “I’m calling to tell you, she died back in January with a zero balance.”

Citibank: “The account was never closed and late fees and charges still apply.”

Family Member: “You mean you want to collect from her estate?”

Citibank: (Stammer) “Are you her lawyer?”

Family Member: “No, I’m her great nephew.” (Lawyer info was given)

Citibank: “Could you fax us a certificate of death?”

Family Member: “Sure.” (Fax number was given)

After the Fax:

Citibank: “Our system just isn’t set up for death.  I don’t know what more I can do to help.”

Family Member: “Well, if you figure it out, great!  If not, you could just keep billing her.  She won’t care.”

Citibank: “Well, the late fees and charges do still apply.” (What is wrong with these people?!?!)

Family Member: “Would you like her new billing address?”

Citibank: “That might help.”

Family Member: “Odessa Memorial Cemetery, Highway 129, Plot Number 69.”

Citibank: “Sir, that’s a cemetery!”

Family Member: “What do you do with dead people on your planet???”

Next President

Each and everyone who votes needs to be sure to visit all of the candidates web sites. Closely read where they stand on the issues that are important to you personally. If you are really concerned about our nation and the world, carefully consider how each candidate states their views and their plans to make a change.  Here is where you will need to read between the lines.  After all, they do hire speech writers.  And as you watch the debates and the interviews of these politicians, don’t forget to look into their eyes, watch their facial expressions, and their body language.  Their speech is not nearly as important as these things because they’ve been rehearsed a thousand times.  Outward bodily expressions are the most revealing about the people. Especially those who are vying to become our next leader and president.  They are human beings just like you and can only hide a small amount of what is really felt inside.
Each of the candidates are swearing that they are here to make a “change”. And they are stating this because they know that every American is sick of what has happened and is happening with the current administration.  Bottom line is they know what you want to hear.  As you take time (hopefully you will) to review their web sites, you’ll notice all of the stands/views are of the same idea and very closely the same procedure for change.  They are basically the same statements – only phrased different here and there.
Experience is of Great Importance!  If you were an employer, you wouldn’t hire the person with the least experience for an important – life changing job.  Regardless of age, color, gender, or physical appearance – You know you would want the person you could trust to get the job done based on their prior achievements.
Let’s try to remember that this is our opportunity as a nation to hire the person who will do the job right this time around.  It is Not personality, age, gender, or color that should win this job. But more importantly the one who can get the job done based on their history.
I know that I want a strong leader with experience, patience, intelligence, and one who has a conscience.  What are the qualifications you are looking for in our next leader?