And then the fight started


And then the fight started……………..

My significant other sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked, “What’s on TV?”

I said, “Dust.”

And then the fight started.



My significant other was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, “I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.”

I bought her a scale.

And then the fight started.



When I got home last night, my significant other demanded that I take her
someplace expensive… so, I took her to a gas station…

And then the fight started….



After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security.

The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s license to verify my age.

I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.

I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, ‘Unbutton your shirt’. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.

She said, ‘That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me’ and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my significant other about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, ‘you should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.’

And then the fight started…



My significant other and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My significant other asked, ‘Do you know her?’

‘Yes,’ I sighed, ‘She’s my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many 20 years ago, and I hear she
hasn’t been sober since.’

‘My God!’ said my significant other, ‘who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?’

And then the fight started…



I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?

Yeah, well I couldn’t believe it… he was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, “I AM NOT HAPPY!”

So, I looked down at him and said, ‘Well, then which one are you?’

And then the fight started…


And in conclusion…….

Subject: To all my Friends!!!

To all my friends and family who have sent me best ‘wishes’, chain letters, ‘angel’ letters or other promises of good luck if I forwarded
something,

NONE OF THAT STUFF WORKED!

Could you please just send cash, Vodka, chocolate or airline tickets instead?
OR A TANK OF GAS.

Thank you!

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