Archive for May, 2009

Thought For The Day – Dollar Bill

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

I’m just passing this thought along….

Have you ever wondered if the one dollar bills in your wallet were ever in a stripper’s butt crack?
DollarThgt

If not, you’re wondering now.

Have a nice day ūüôā

How To Tell The Sex Of A House Fly

How To Tell The Sex Of A House Fly:


This is the cleanest E-mail joke

I’ve come across in a while!

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband

stalking around with a fly swatter.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“Hunting flies.” he responded.

“Oh! Killing any?” she asked.

“Yep, 3 males, 2 females.” he replied.

Intrigued, she asked, “How can you tell them apart?”

He responded,

“3 were on a beer can;

2 were on the phone.”

Food Problems

Food Problems:

Can’t eat pork,

Swine flu…

Can’t eat chicken,

Bird flu.

Can’t eat Beef,

Mad cow….

Can’t eat eggs,

Salmonella.

Can’t eat fish,

heavy metal poisons in their waters.

Can’t eat fruits and veggies,

insecticides and herbicides.

Hmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!!

M

M

M

M

M

M

M

M

M

M

M

I believe that leaves Chocolate and ice cream!!!!!!!!

Remember – – – ‘STRESSED’

spelled backwards! is

‘DESSERTS’

Send this to four people and you will lose 2 pounds

Delete it and you will gain 10 pounds immediately!

That’s why I had to pass this on – –

– – – didn’t want to risk it – – –

And I wanted to put a smile on your face.

Puppy Bouquet

Thinking of You Today and Wishing You a Great Day!

A Puppy Bouquet From Me To You:

This is so cute, it deserves to be shared.

We all just
wanted to wish

you an enjoyable day !!

May you always have Love to Share,

Health to Spare and Friends that Care

Painting The Church

Painting the Church

There was a Scottish painter named Smokey MacGregor who was very interested in making a penny where he could, so he often thinned down his paint to make it go a wee bit further.

 
 
As it happened, he got away with this for some time, but eventually St. Mary’s Anglican Church decided to do a big restoration job on the outside of one of their biggest buildings. 

Smokey put in a bid, and, because his price was so low, he got the job. 
So he set about erecting the scaffolding and setting up the planks, and buying the paint and, yes, I am sorry to say, thinning it down with turpentine. 


Well, Smokey was up on the scaffolding, painting away, the job nearly completed, when suddenly there was a horrendous clap of thunder, the sky opened, and the rain poured down washing the thinned paint from all over the church and knocking Smokey clear off the scaffold to land on the lawn among the gravestones, surrounded by telltale puddles of the thinned and useless paint.


Smokey was no fool. He knew this was a judgment from the Almighty, so he got down on his knees and cried: 
“Oh, God, Oh God, forgive me; what should I do?” 
And from the thunder, a mighty voice spoke..

(you’re going to love this) 

“Repaint! Repaint! 
And thin no more!”

Friendship, Love, and Laughter – M.I.L.K. Greetings

Friendship, Love, and Laughter



























Wisdom and Laughter – M.I.L.K. Greetings

Wisdom and Laughter

















Dear Ruth

Dear Ruth

Ruth went to her mail box and there was only one
letter. She picked it up and looked at it before opening, but then she looked at
the envelope again. There was no stamp, no postmark, only her name and address.

She read the letter:

Her hands were shaking as she placed the letter on the table. “Why would
the Lord want to visit me? I’m nobody special. I don’t have anything to
offer.” With that thought, Ruth remembered her empty kitchen cabinets.

“Oh my goodness, I really don’t have anything to offer. I’ll have to run
down to the store and buy something for dinner.” She reached for her purse
and counted out its contents. Five dollars and forty cents. “Well, I can
get some bread and cold cuts, at least.” She threw on her coat and hurried
out the door. A loaf of french bread, a half-pound of sliced turkey, and a
carton of milk…leaving Ruth with grand total of twelve cents to last her until
Monday. Nonetheless, she felt good as she headed home, her meager offerings
tucked under her arm.

“Hey, lady, can you help us, lady?”
Ruth had been so absorbed in her dinner plans, she hadn’t even noticed two
figures huddled in the alleyway. A man and a woman, both of them dressed in
little more than rags. “Look lady, I ain’t got a job, ya know, and my wife
and I have been living out here in the street, and, well, now it’s getting cold
and we’re getting kinda hungry and, well, if you could help us, lady, we’d
really appreciate it.”

Ruth looked at them both. They were dirty, they smelled bad and, frankly, she
was certain that they could get some kind of work if they really wanted to.

“Sir, I’d like to help you, but I’m a poor woman myself. All I have is a
few cold cuts and some bread, and I’m having an important guest for dinner
tonight and I was planning on serving that to Him.”

“Yeah, well, okay lady, I understand. Thanks anyway.” The man put his
arm around the woman’s shoulders, turned and headed back into the alley. As she
watched them leave, Ruth felt a familiar twinge in her heart.

“Sir, wait!” The couple stopped and turned as she ran down the alley
after them. “Look, why don’t you take this food. I’ll figure out something
else to serve my guest.” She handed the man her grocery bag.

“Thank you, lady. Thank you very much!”

“Yes, thank you!” It was the man’s wife, and Ruth could see now that
she was shivering.

“You know, I’ve got another coat at home. Here, why don’t you take this
one.” Ruth unbuttoned her jacket and slipped it over the woman’s shoulders.
Then smiling, she turned and walked back to the street…without her coat and
with nothing to serve her guest.

“Thank you lady! Thank you very much!”

Ruth was chilled by the time she reached her front door, and worried too. The
Lord was coming to visit and she didn’t have anything to offer Him. She fumbled
through her purse for the door key. But as she did, she noticed another envelope
in her mailbox.

“That’s odd. The mailman doesn’t usually come twice in one day.” She
took the envelope out of the box and opened it.

The air was still cold, but even without her coat, Ruth no longer noticed.

Peace to You

One  Door Closes. Another Opens!

Revelations   3:8

When God leads  you to the edge of the cliff,

Trust Him fully and let go,

Only 1 of 2 things will happen,

Either He’ll catch you when you fall,

Or He’ll teach you how to fly!

‘The power of one sentence!

God is going to shift things around for you today
and let things work in your favor.

If you believe, share this.

If you don’t believe, thanks for reading.

God closes doors no man can open & God opens doors no man can close.

If you need God to open,¬† some doors for you…share this with others.

Have a blessed day and¬† remember to be a blessing…

Mary’s Lamb

Mary’s Lamb

Think carefully about

What you will be reading.

This is a new one for me…

Mary! Had a little Lamb,

Its fleece was white as snow.

And everywhere that Mary went,

The Lamb was sure to go.

It followed her to school each day,

T’wasn’t even in the rule.

It made the children laugh and play,

To have a Lamb at school.

And then the rules all changed one day,

Illegal it became;

To bring the Lamb of God to school,

Or even speak His Name!

Every day got worse and worse,

And days turned into years…

Instead of hearing children laugh,

We heard gun shots and tears.

What must we do to stop the crime,

That’s in our schools today?

Let’s let the Lamb come back to school,

And teach our kids to pray!

If you agree, please share this.

It is said that 86% of Canadian,

American & British people believe in God.

Why don’t we just tell the other 14%

To be quiet and sit down????

If you agree, share this.

God Bless  you

Friends

Friends

A little hi

Squealing Hi

Morning Meditation and Exercises

Morning Meditation and Exercises

Mantra: I love my job

God didn’t promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, But he did promise strength for the day, comfort for the
tears, and light for the day.


If God brings you to it, He will bring your thru it.