The New Alphabet


A is for apple, and B is for boat, That used to be right, but now it won’t float!

Age before beauty is what we once said, But let’s be a bit more realistic instead. 

Now The Alphabet: 

A’s
for arthritis; 

B’s the bad back, 

C’s the chest pains, perhaps car-di-ac? 

D is for dental decay and decline, 

E is for eyesight, can’t read that top line!  

F is for farting and fluid retention, 

G is for gut droop, which I’d rather not mention. 

H is for high blood pressure–I’d rather it low; 

I is for incisions with scars you can show. 

J is for joints, out of socket, won’t mend, 

K is for knees that crack when they bend.

L‘s for libido, what happened to sex? 

M is for memory, I forget what comes next. 

N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low; 

O is for osteo, bones that don’t grow! 

P for prescriptions, I have quite a few, just give me a pill and I’ll be good as new! 

Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?

R is for reflux, one meal turns to two. 

S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears, 

T is for Tinnitus; bells in my ears! 

U is for urinary; troubles with flow; 

V for vertigo, that’s ‘dizzy,’ you know.. 

W for worry, now what’s going ’round? 

X is for X ray, and what might be found. 

Y for another year I’m left here behind, 

Z is for zest I still have – in my mind! 


I’ve survived all the symptoms, my body’s deployed, And I’m keeping twenty-six doctors fully employed!
 

HAVE A GREAT DAY!

 

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