Archive for December, 2008

Hair Band Information Important

True checked Snopes website: http://www.snopes.com/medical/toxins/hairband.asp

Hair Band Information Important!

Be cautious of hair bands at open markets around the city too – they are probably from China since they are purchased in bulk very very cheap !!!!
Take a good look before buying hair bands in future – specially like the following kind…..

These Hair bands were made from used condoms and threads. That was so disgusting, I would not want to use them!!

BEIJING (AFP) – Used condoms are being recycled into hair bands in southern China threatening to spread sexually-transmittable diseases they were originally meant to prevent, state media reported Tuesday

In the latest example of potentially harmful Chinese-made products, rubber hair bands have been found in local markets and beauty salons in Dongguan and Guangzhou cities in southern Guangdong province, China Daily newspaper said.

‘These cheap and colorful rubber bands and hair ties sell well ….. threatening the health of local people,’ it said.
Despite being recycled, the hair bands could still contain bacteria and viruses, it said.

‘People could be infected with AIDS, (genital) warts or other diseases if they hold the rubber bands or strings in their mouths while waving their hair into plaits or buns,’ the paper quoted a local dermatologist who gave only his surname, Dong, as saying. A bag of ten of the recycled bands sells for just 25 s en (three cents), much cheaper than others on the market, accounting for their popularity, the paper said.

A government official was quoted as saying recycling condoms was illegal.    China ‘s manufacturing industry has been repeatedly tarnished this year by a string of scandals involving shoddy or dangerous goods made for both domestic and foreign markets.

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You Can’t Fix Stupid

You Just Can’t Fix Stupid!!

ONE

Recently, when I went to McDonald’s I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. ‘We don’t have half dozen nuggets,’ said the teenager at the counter. ‘You don’t?’ I replied. ‘We only have six, nine, or twelve,’ was the reply. ‘So I can’t order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?’ ‘That’s right.’ So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.

TWO

I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those ‘dividers’ that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn’t get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the ‘divider’, looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, ‘Do you know how much this is? ‘ I said to her ‘I’ve changed my mind, I don’t think I’ll buy that today.’ She said ‘OK,’ and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.

THREE

A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM ‘thingy.’

FOUR

I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. ‘ Do you need some help?’ I asked. She replied, ‘I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can’t get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?’ ‘Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?’ I asked. ‘No, just this remote thingy,’ she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, ‘Why don’t you drive over there and check about the batteries. It’s a long walk.’

FIVE

Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, ‘I’m almost out of typing paper. What do I do?’ ‘Just use copier machine paper,’ the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five ‘blank’ copies.

SIX

I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in ‘Twister.’ I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the ‘cruise control’ and then went in the back to make a sandwich.

SEVEN

My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: ‘I’ve got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?’

EIGHT

Police in Radnor , Pa. interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a
photocopy machine. The message ‘He’s lying’ was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn’t telling the truth. Believing the ‘lie detector ‘ was working, the suspect confessed.

NINE

A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was
eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and it should be fine. The mother says, I just gave
him some ant killer…..

Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency room!

Life is tough. It’s tougher if you’re stupid and remember – these people can vote.

Lock Your Car Safely

I did the Snopes sight as did the person who sent the email.
http://www.snopes.com/autos/techno/lockcode.asp

Cars that were made in the mid 1990’s and before are vulnerable to this but the newer ones are suppose to be safer.

Ron received this e-mail from State Farm regional office this morning.

Something good to know especially during the holiday shopping.

This was an E-mail I received from another AFS in Texas. Something to be aware of…

Snopes approved.

I locked my car — as I walked away I heard my car door unlock. I went back and locked my car again three times.
I looked around and there were two guys sitting in a car in the fire lane next to the store.
When I looked straight at them they did not unlock my car again.

How to lock your car safely ~

While traveling my son stopped at a roadside park. He came out to his car less than 4-5 minutes later and found someone had gotten into his car, and stolen his cell phone, laptop computer, GPS navigator, briefcase … you name it … called the police and since there were no signs of his car being broken into- the police told him that there is a device that robbers are using now to clone your security code when you lock your doors on your car using your key-chain locking device.

They sit a distance away and watch for their next victim. They know you are going inside of the store, restaurant, or bathroom and have a few minutes to steal and run. The police officer said … to be sure to manually lock your car door-by hitting the lock button inside the car, that way if there is someone sitting in a parking lot watching for their next victim it will not be you. When you hit the lock button on your car upon exiting … it does not send the security code, but if you walk away and use the door lock on your key chain- it sends the code through the airwaves where it can be stolen, something totally new to us…and real … be aware of this and please pass this note on. Just think about how many times we all lock our doors with our keys…

Keep safe everyone!

The Word Service

I became confused when I heard these terms with reference to the word ‘service’.

Internal Revenue ‘Service’
Postal ‘Service’
Telephone ‘Service’
TV ‘Service’
Civil ‘Service’
Provincial, City & County Public ‘Service’
Customer ‘Service’

This is not what I  thought ‘service’ meant. But today I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them said he had hired a bull to ‘service’ a few cows.   BAM!!!  It all came into focus.  Now I understand what all those ‘service’ agencies are doing to  us.

I hope you are as enlightened as I  am.

Untimely Deaths

DID YOU KNOW THESE FACTS?

I SURE DIDN’T TILL NOW

Death is certain but the Bible speaks about untimely death!

Make a personal reflection about this…..

Very interesting, read until the end…..

It is written in the Bible (Galatians 6:7):

‘Be not deceived; God is not mocked:

for whatsoever a man sow,

that shall he also reap.

Here are some men and women

who mocked God :

John Lennon (Singer):
Some years before, during his interview with an American Magazine, he said:

‘Christianity will end, it will disappear.

I do not have to argue about that. I am certain.

Jesus was ok, but his subjects were too simple, today we are more famous than Him’ (1966).

Lennon, after saying that the Beatles were more famous than Jesus Christ, was shot six times.

Tancredo Neves (President of Brazil ):
During the Presidential campaign, he said if he got 500,000 votes from his party, not even God would remove him from Presidency.

Sure he got the votes, but he got sick a day before being made President, then he died.

Cazuza (Brazilian composer, singer and poet):
During A show in Canecio ( Rio de Janeiro ), while smoking his cigarette, he puffed out some smoke into the air and said:’God, that’s for you.’

He died at the age of 32 of LUNG CANCER in a horrible manner.

The man who built the Titanic
After the construction of Titanic, a reporter asked him how safe the Titanic would be.
With an ironic tone he said:
‘Not even God can sink it’

The result: I think you all know what happened to the Titanic

Marilyn Monroe (Actress)
She was visited by Billy Graham during a presentation of a show.
He said the Spirit of God had sent him to preach to her.
After hearing what the Preacher had to say, she said:
‘I don’t need your Jesus’.

A week later, she was found dead in her apartment

Bon Scott (Singer)
The ex-vocalist of the AC/DC. On one of his 1979 songs he sang:
‘Don’t stop me; I’m going down all the way, down the highway to hell’.

On the 19th of February 1980, Bon Scott was found dead, he had been choked by his own vomit.

Campinas (IN 2005)
In Campinas , Brazil a group of friends, drunk, went to pick up a friend…..
The mother accompanied her to the car and was so worried about the drunkenness of her friends and she said to the daughter holding her hand, who was already seated in the car:
‘My Daughter, Go With God And May He Protect You.’
She responded: ‘Only If He (God) Travels In The Trunk, Cause Inside Here…..It’s Already Full ‘

Hours later, news came by that they had been involved in a fatal accident, everyone had died, the car could not be recognized what type of car it had been, but surprisingly, the trunk was intact.
The police said there was no way the trunk could have remained intact. To their surprise, inside the trunk was a crate of eggs, none was broken

Christine Hewitt (Jamaican Journalist and entertainer)
said the Bible (Word of God) was the worst book ever written.
In June 2006 she was found burnt beyond recognition in her motor vehicle.

Many more important people have forgotten that there is no other name that was given so much authority as the name of Jesus.
Many have died, but only Jesus died and rose again, and he is still alive.

‘Jesus’

PS: If it was a joke, you would have shared it with everyone.
So are you going to have courage to share this?

I have done my part, Jesus said

‘If you are embarrassed about me,
I will also be embarrassed about you before my father.’

Repeat this prayer and see how God moves!!

‘Lord, I love you and I need you, come into my heart, and bless me, my family, my home, and my friends, in Jesus’ name. Amen.’

When You Realize

There comes a point in your life when you realize:

Who matters,
Who never did,
Who won’t anymore…
And who always will.
So, don’t worry about people from your past,
There’s a reason why they didn’t make it to your future.
Give these flowers to everyone you don’t want to lose in 2009,

Grandma’s Boyfriend

Grandma’s Boyfriend

A 5yr old boy went to visit his Grandma one day. Playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting, he looked up and said, Grandma, how come you don’t have a boyfriend now that Grandpa went to heaven?

Grandma replied, ‘Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day long. The religious programs make me feel good and the comedies make me laugh. I’m happy with my TV as my boyfriend.’

Grandma turned it on and the TV reception was bad. She started adjusting the knobs, trying to get the picture in focus. Frustrated, she started hitting the backside of the TV hoping to fix the problem.

The little boy heard the doorbell ring, so he went to open the door and there stood the minister. The minister said, ‘Hello son, is your Grandma home?’

The little boy replied, ‘Yeah, she’s in the bedroom bangin’ her boyfriend.’

The minister fainted.

Now, that’s funny… I don’t care who you are!

Your Tongue Can Be Your Worst Enemy

Some really good points…

YOUR TONGUE CAN BE YOUR WORST ENEMY!

Your words, your dreams, and your thoughts have power to create conditions in your life.

What you speak about, you can bring about.

If you keep saying you can’t stand your job, you might lose your job.

If you keep saying you can’t stand your body, your body can become sick.

If you keep saying you can’t stand your car, your car could be stolen or just stop operating.

If you keep saying you’re broke, guess what? You’ll always be broke.

If you keep saying you can’t trust a man or trust a woman, you will always find someone in your life that’ll hurt and betray you.

If you keep saying you can’t find a job, you will remain unemployed.

If you keep saying you can’t find someone to love you or believe in you, your very thought will attract more experiences to confirm your beliefs.

If you keep talking about a divorce or breakup in a relationship, then you might end up with it.

Turn your thoughts and conversations around to be more positive and power packed with faith, hope, love and action.

Don’t be afraid to believe that you can have what you want and deserve.

Watch your Thoughts, they become words.

Watch your Words, they become actions.

Watch your Actions, they become habits.

Watch your Habits, they become character.

Watch your Character, for it becomes your Destiny.

The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settle for.

Thought I would share this with you.

In the search for Me, I discovered Truth.

In the search for Truth, I discovered Love.

In the search for Love, I discovered GOD.

And in God, I have found Everything.

Be Blessed

Watch how your circumstances and situations begin to change when you change the way you speak.

Pass this on to as many people……as you can, so they can change their lives, too.

Life is like melted butter . . . Once things cool down, it can be reshaped

Be blessed…

Merry Christmas Friends

I have a list of people I know, all logged in my computer, and now at Christmas time I have gone to take a look and that is when I realize that these names are a part, not of the computer they’re stored in, but of my heart.

For each name stands for someone who has crossed my path sometime, and in that meeting they’ve become the rhythm in each rhyme and while it sounds fantastic for me to make this claim, I feel that I’m composed of each remembered name.

And while you may not be aware of any special link, just meeting you has changed my life, a lot more than you think! For when I do a Christmas E-mail that is addressed to you, it’s because you’re on the list of people I’m indebted too.

And whether I have known you for many years or few, in some way you have been a part of shaping things I do and now that Christmas has come, I realize anew, the best gift life can offer is meeting people like you.

A MERRY CHRISTMAS SEASON to you and have …….
A HAPPY, HEALTHY AND PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR !
Happy Birthday Jesus and May God Bless You All!

A Letter from Jesus About Christmas

A Letter from Jesus About Christmas

You may have already seen this, but it is definitely worth a re-read.

Dear Loved Ones,

As you well know, we are getting closer to my birthday.

Every year there is a celebration in my honor and I think that this year the celebration will be repeated. During this time there are many people shopping for gifts, there are many radio announcements, TV commercials, and in every part of the world everyone is talking that my birthday is getting closer and closer.

It is really very nice to know, that at least once a year, some people think of me. As you know, the celebration of my birthday began many years ago. At first people seemed to understand and be thankful of all that I did for them, but in these times, no one seems to know the reason for the celebration. Family and friends get together and have a lot of fun, but they don’t know the meaning of the celebration. I remember that last year there was a great feast in my honor. The dinner table was full of delicious foods, pastries, fruits, assorted nuts and chocolates. The decorations were exquisite and there were many, many beautifully wrapped
gifts. But, do you want to know something? I wasn’t invited. I was the guest of honor and they didn’t remember to send me an invitation. The party was for me, but when that great day came, I was left outside, they closed the door in my face …. And I wanted to be with them and share their table. In truth, that didn’t surprise me because in the last few years all close their doors to me.

Since I wasn’t invited, I decided to enter the party without making any noise. I went in and stood in a corner. They were all drinking; there were some who were drunk and telling jokes and laughing at everything. They were having a grand time. To top it all, this big fat man all dressed in red wearing a long white beard entered the room yelling Ho-Ho-Ho! He seemed drunk. He sat on the sofa and all the children ran to him, saying: “Santa Claus, Santa Claus”… As if the party were in his honor!

At 12 Midnight all the people began to hug each other; I extended my arms waiting for someone to hug me and …… Do you know … No one hugged me. Suddenly they all began to share gifts. They opened them one by one with great expectation. When all had been opened, I looked to see if, maybe, there was one for me. What would you feel if on your birthday everybody shared gifts and you did not get one? I then understood that I was unwanted at that party and quietly left.

Every year it gets worse. People only remember to eat and drink, the gifts, the parties and nobody remembers me. I would like this Christmas that you allow me to enter into your life. I would like that you recognize the fact that almost two thousand years ago I came to this world to give my life for you, on the cross, to save you. Today, I only want that you believe this with all your heart.

I want to share something with you. As many didn’t invite me to their party, I will have my own celebration, a grandiose party that no one has ever imagined, a spectacular party. I’m still making the final arrangements. Today I am sending out many invitations and there is an invitation for you. I want to know if you wish
to attend and I will make a reservation for you and write your name with golden letters in my great guest book. Only those on the guest list will be invited to the party. Those who don’t answer the invite, will be left outside. Be prepared because when all is ready you will be part of my great party.

See you soon. I Love you!

Jesus

P.S. Please share this message with your loved ones, by or before Christmas.

Let’s keep Christ in CHRISTmas!!!

The Sharing of Marriage…

The Sharing of Marriage…

The old man placed order for one hamburger, French fries and a drink.

He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife.

He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.

He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them . As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them were looking over and whispering.

Obviously they were thinking, ‘That poor old couple – all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.’

As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said, they were just fine – they were used to sharing everything.

People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn’t eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.

Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said ‘No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything.’

Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked ‘What is it you are waiting for?’

She answered

(Continue below – This is great)

‘THE TEETH.’

Mood Badges You Can’t Wear To Work

Here’s a link to some Mood Badges that you can’t wear to work – but on some days you would really love to wear.

http://www.bestoday.com.au/sick/archives/000577mood_badges.php

Santa and Sarah

Santa & Sarah

Three years ago, a little boy and his grandmother came to see Santa at the Mayfair Mall in Wisconsin. The child climbed up on his lap, holding a picture of a little girl. “Who is this?” asked Santa, smiling.

“Your friend? Your sister?'”  “Yes, Santa,’ he replied.

“My sister, Sarah, who is very sick,” he said sadly.

Santa glanced over at the grandmother who was waiting nearby, and saw her dabbing her eyes with a tissue. “She wanted to come with me to see you, oh, so very much, Santa!” the child exclaimed.

“She misses you,” he added softly.

Santa tried to be cheerful and encouraged a smile to the boy’s face, asking him what he wanted Santa to bring him for Christmas.

When they finished their visit, the Grandmother came over to help the child off his lap, and started to say something to Santa, but halted.

“What is it?” Santa asked warmly.

“Well, I know it’s really too much to ask you, Santa, but …” the old woman began, shooing her grandson over to one of Santa’s elves to collect the little gift which Santa gave all his young visitors.

“The girl in the photograph … my granddaughter well, you see … she has leukemia and isn’t expected to make it even through the holidays,” she said through tear-filled eyes.

“Is there any way, Santa. Any possible way that you could come see Sarah?  That’s all she’s asked for, for Christmas, is to see Santa.”

Santa blinked and swallowed hard and told the woman to leave information with his elves as to where Sarah was, and he would see what he could do.  Santa thought of little else the rest of that afternoon.

He knew what he had to do.

“What if it were MY child lying in that hospital bed, dying,” he thought with a sinking heart, “This is the least I can do.”

When Santa finished visiting with all the boys and girls that evening, he retrieved from his helper the name of the hospital where Sarah was staying.  H e asked the assistant location manager how to get to Children’s Hospital.

“Why?” Rick asked, with a puzzled look on his face.

Santa relayed to him the conversation with Sarah’s grandmother earlier that day.  “C’mon…..I’ll take you there.” Rick said softly.

Rick drove them to the hospital and came inside with Santa.

They found out which room Sarah was in.  A pale Rick said he would wait out in the hall.

Santa quietly peeked into the room through the half-closed door and saw little Sarah on the bed.

The room was full of what appeared to be her family; there was the grandmother and the girl’s brother he had met earlier that day.

A woman whom he guessed was Sarah’s mother stood by the bed, gently pushing Sarah’s thin hair off her forehead.

And another woman who he discovered later was Sarah’s aunt, sat in a chair near the bed with a weary, sad look on her face.  They were talking quietly, and Santa could sense the warmth and closeness of the family, and their love and concern for Sarah.

Taking a deep breath, and forcing a smile on his face, Santa entered the room, bellowing a hearty, “Ho, ho, ho!”

“Santa!” shrieked little Sarah weakly, as she tried to escape her bed to run to him, IV tubes intact.  Santa rushed to her side and gave her a warm hug.

A child the tender age of his own son — 9 years old — gazed up at him with wonder and excitement.

Her skin was pale and her short tresses bore telltale bald patches from the effects of chemotherapy.  But all he saw when he looked at her was a pair of huge, blue eyes.  His heart melted, and he had to force himself to choke back tears.

Though his eyes were riveted upon Sarah’s face, he could hear the gasps and quiet sobbing of the women in the room.

As he and Sarah began talking, the family crept quietly to the bedside one b y one, squeezing Santa’s shoulder or his hand gratefully, whispering “Thank you” as they gazed sincerely at him with shining eyes.

Santa and Sarah talked and talked, and she told him excitedly all the toys she wanted for Christmas, assuring him she’d been a very good girl that year.

As their time together dwindled, Santa felt led in his spirit to pray for Sarah, and asked for permission from the girl’s mother.   She nodded in agreement and the entire family circled around Sarah’s bed, holding hands.

Santa looked intensely at Sarah and asked her if she believed in angels.  “Oh, yes, Santa… I do!” she exclaimed.

“Well, I’m going to ask that angels watch over you.” he said.

Laying one hand on the child’s head, Santa close d his eyes and prayed.  He asked that God touch little Sarah, and heal her body from this disease.

He asked that angels minister to her, watch and keep her.  And when he  finished praying, still with eyes closed, he started singing, softly,

“Silent Night, Holy Night…. all is calm, all is bright…”

“The family joined in, still holding hands, smiling at Sarah, and crying tears of hope, tears of joy for this moment, as Sarah beamed at them all.

When the song ended, Santa sat on the side of the bed again and held Sarah’s frail, small hands in his own.   “Now, Sarah,” he said authoritatively, “you have a job to do, and that is to concentrate on getting well.  I want you to have fun playing with your friends this summer, and I expect to see you at my house at Mayfair Mall this time next year!”

He knew it was risky proclaiming that to this little girl who had terminal cancer, but he “had” to .  He had to give her the greatest gift he could — not dolls or games or toys — but the gift of HOPE.

“Yes, Santa!” Sarah exclaimed, her eyes bright.  He leaned down and kissed her on the forehead and left the room.

Out in the hall, the minute Santa’s eyes met Rick’s, a look passed between  them and they wept unashamed.

Sarah’s mother and grandmother slipped out of the room quickly and rushed to Santa’s side to thank him.

“My only child is the same age as Sarah,” he explained quietly.

“This is the least I could do.”  They nodded with understanding and hugged him.

One year later, Santa Mark was again back on the set in Milwaukee for his six-week, seasonal job which he so loves to do.  Several weeks went by and then one day a child came up to sit on his lap.

“Hi, Santa!  Remember me?!”  “Of course, I do,”

Santa proclaimed (as he always does), smiling down at her.  After all, the secret to being a “good” Santa is to always make each child feel as if they are the “only” child in the world at that moment.

“You came to see me in the hospital last year!”  Santa’s jaw dropped.

Tears immediately sprang in his eyes, and he grabbed this little miracle and held her to his chest. “Sarah!” he exclaimed.  He scarcely recognized her, for her hair was long and silky and her cheeks were rosy — much different from the little girl he had visited just a year before.

He looked over and saw Sarah’s mother and grandmother in the sidelines smiling and waving and wiping their eyes.

That was the best Christmas ever for Santa Claus.

He had witnessed –and been blessed to be instrumental in bringing about — this miracle of hope.  This precious little child was healed.

Cancer-free.  Alive and well.  He silently looked up to Heaven and humbly whispered, “Thank you, Father. ‘Tis a very, Merry Christmas!”

If you believe in miracles you will pass this on…I did.

GO IN PEACE,

GO IN JOY,

GO IN LOVE.

When Life Gets You Down

When Life Gets You Down


Wishing you a great day!!

Ever have one of those days, when something
seemed a bit ‘off’ but you just couldn’t put your finger on it…

Or it seemed like all the people around you just
wanted to buttheads…

Or just get into some kind of weird tug of war?

Sometimes you just need to take a fresh new look

And get a different perspective on things.

Remember to try your best to show kindness to
others…

(sometimes looking at things from their
perspective might help…)

So, when life gets you down…

Remember to just keep going, and keep your head
above water…

And you’ll get by with a little help from your
friends!

To all of my friends have a nice day.

Together We Can Make Someone Smile!

Catitude

Catitude

Be who you are and say what you feel, because
those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.

Grandpa and IRS

The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office.

The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.

The auditor said, ‘Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, Which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I’m not sure the IRS finds that believable.’

I’m a great gambler, and I can prove it,’ says Grandpa. ‘How about a demonstration?’

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, ‘Okay. Go ahead.’

Grandpa says, ‘I’ll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.’

The auditor thinks a moment and says, ‘It’s a bet.’

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it.
The auditor’s jaw drops.

Grandpa says, ‘Now, I’ll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.’

Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn’t blind, so he takes the bet.

Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa’s attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

‘Want to go double or nothing?’ Grandpa asks ‘I’ll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.’

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there’s no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can’t make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor’s desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.

But Grandpa’s own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.

‘Are you okay?’ the auditor asks.

‘Not really,’ says the attorney. ‘This morning, when Grandpa told me he’d been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you’d be happy about it!’

Virus Alert

HUGE VIRUS COMING
http://www.snopes.com/computer/virus/postcard.asp

Hi All, checked with Norton Anti-Virus, and they are gearing up for this virus. I checked Snopes (URL above:), and it is for real.

Get this message around to your contacts ASAP.
PLEASE SHARE THIS WARNING AMONG FRIENDS, FAMILY AND CONTACTS!

You should be alert during the next few days. Do not open any message with an attachment entitled ‘POSTCARD FROM HALLMARK,’ regardless of who sent it to you. It is a virus which opens A POSTCARD IMAGE, which ‘burns’ the whole hard disc C of your computer. This virus will be received from someone who has your e-mail address in his/her contact list. This is the reason why you need to let all your contacts know about this. It is better to receive this message 25 times than to receive the virus and open it.

If you receive a mail called’ POSTCARD,’ even though sent to you by a friend, do not open it! Shut down your computer immediately.
This is the worst virus announced by CNN. It has been classified by Microsoft as the most destructive virus ever. This virus was discovered by McAfee yesterday, and there is no repair yet for this kind of virus. This virus simply destroys the Zero Sector of the Hard Disc, where the vital information is kept.

SHARE THIS WITH YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY.

REMEMBER: IF YOU SEND IT TO THEM, YOU WILL BENEFIT ALL OF US

Illusions

This will blow your mind, ESPECIALLY the last photo!
They’re all weird but #7 will blow your mind!!!

Just follow the directions as stated.

Is This Possible??
Focus on the dot in the center and move your head back and forth.
Are the purple lines straight or bent?
Do you see gray areas in between the squares?
Now where did they come from?
You should see a man’s face and also a word….
Hint: Try tilting your head to the right, the world begins with ‘L’
If you take a look at the following picture, let me tell you, it is not animated.  Your eyes are making it move.  To test this, stare at one spot for a couple seconds and everything will stop moving.  Or look at the black center of each circle and it will stop moving.  But move your eyes to the next black center and the previous will move after you take your eyes away from it….  Weird
Relax and concentrate on the 4 small dots in the middle of the picture for 30-40 secondsThen take a look at a wall near youYou will see a circle of light develop

What and/or Who do you see?

Is the book looking towards or away from you?

Happy Fall

Happy Fall


From one pumpkin to another!!!!!!!

A woman was asked by a coworker,

‘What is it like to be a Christian?’

The coworker replied, ‘It is like being a pumpkin.’

God picks you from the patch, brings you in,
and washes all the dirt off of you.

Then He cuts off the top and scoops out all the yucky stuff.
He removes the seeds of doubt, hate, and greed.

Then He carves you a new smiling face and
puts His light inside of you to shine for all the world to see.’

This was passed on to me by another pumpkin.

Now it’s your turn to pass it to other pumpkins.

God’s Amazing Pharmacy

A friend sent this to me. It’s been said that God first separated the salt water from the fresh, made dry land, planted a garden, made animals and fish… All before making a human. He made and provided what we’d need before we were born. These are best & more powerful when eaten raw.  We’re such slow learners…

God left us a great clue as to what foods help what part of our body!

Amazing!

God’s Pharmacy!

A sliced Carrot looks like the human eye. The pupil, iris and radiating lines look just like the human eye… And YES, science now shows carrots greatly enhance blood flow to and function of the eyes.
A Tomato has four chambers and is red. The heart has four chambers and is red. All of the research shows tomatoes are loaded with lycopine and are indeed pure heart and blood food.
Grapes hang in a cluster that has the shape of the heart. Each grape looks like a blood cell and all of the research today shows grapes are also profound heart and blood vitalizing food.
A Walnut looks like a little brain, a left and right hemisphere, upper cerebrums and lower cerebellums.  Even the wrinkles or folds on the nut are just like the neo-cortex. We now know walnuts help develop more than three (3) dozen neuron-transmitters for brain function.
Kidney Beans actually heal and help maintain kidney function and yes, they look exactly like the human kidneys.
Celery, Bok Choy, Rhubarb and many more look just like bones. These foods specifically target bone strength. Bones are 23% sodium and these foods are 23% sodium. If you don’t have enough sodium in your diet, the body pulls it from the bones, thus making them weak. These foods replenish the skeletal needs of the body.
Avocadoes, Eggplant and Pears target the health and function of the womb and cervix of the female – they look just like these organs. Today’s research shows that when a woman eats one avocado a week, it balances hormones, sheds unwanted birth weight, and prevents cervical cancers. And how profound is this?  It takes exactly nine (9) months to grow an avocado from blossom to ripened fruit. There are over 14,000 photolytic chemical constituents of nutrition in each one of these foods (modern science has only studied and named about 141 of them).
Figs are full of seeds and hang in twos when they grow. Figs increase the mobility of male sperm and increase the numbers of Sperm as well to overcome male sterility.
Sweet Potatoes look like the pancreas and actually balance the glycemic index of diabetics.
Olives assist the health and function of the ovaries
Oranges, Grapefruits, and other Citrus fruits look just like the mammary glands of the female and actually assist the health of the breasts and the movement of lymph in and out of the breasts.
Onions look like the body’s cells. Today’s research shows onions help clear waste materials from all of the body cells. They even produce tears which wash the epithelial layers of the eyes. A working companion, Garlic, also helps eliminate waste materials and dangerous free radicals from the body.

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